Crabs in a bucket

The last train home from Shinjuku is always an interesting experience.



I don't even know if this picture does justice to the mad jam that takes place nightly from Shinjuku Station, dubbed the busiest station in the world, with over a MILLION people travelling through it every day.

The last train of the evening is always full of incredibly drunk people trying to get home, so imagine hundreds of thousands of people all trying to squeeze into the last train home. That is where the pictures of station workers pushing people into trains comes from. And it is totally true!

Once you step into that train, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PERSONAL SPACE. You will be standing up undoubtedly pressed up against a complete stranger, jammed together like sardines in a tin, your back against their chest, your faces mere inches away, your body parts all touching, and you have no choice but to stand quietly, obediently, until you get to your station. The pushing and shoving is incredible - just when you think there can't possibly be any more room for more passengers to come on board, ten more people squeeze in. It is really quite unbelievable.

But the truly amazing thing is how orderly it all is. There is no hard feelings, no concept of 'get away from me', no rude gestures, no comments passed, no cursing, no elbowing, no fighting, no insults. Everyone on the train simply understands and accepts that this is the way it is, we have no choice but to be squished together this way, so everyone is quiet, patient, and understanding. It is quite a fine example of the mentality of Japanese people -- that the collective is more important than the individual.

The Big Boys

What would a Tokyo blog be without some sumo wrestlers?



Yes, the picture is fuzzy, I know. I apologize. But these guys are HUGE and I didn't want to get in the way.

A few weeks ago, myself and the lovely Jana, who is a brilliant German scientist, went to Ryogoku in downtown Tokyo to try to go to the Sumo Museum. Little did we know that there was a massive sumo match that very day, so we were able to grab some shots of the big boys and the action outside the arena. Unfortunately the tickets to the shows were completely sold out way in advance so we will have to wait until January to see it live.



Above, the bright and colorful signs are the names of all the different sumo wrestlers performing that day.




When life imitates art.




How many sumo wrestlers can you fit into one taxi? We saw all these guys get out of a taxi and it was like one of those things in the circus -- how many clowns can squeeze out of a Volkswagon beetle?




Behold..... the McDonalds!!!

This McDonalds picture is a perfect example of one of the facets of the Japanese language. They have one alphabet for Japanese words, such as 'samurai' or 'sushi'. Then there is an entirely different alphabet, used only for foreign words, such as 'McDonalds' or 'whiskey'. Each symbol is phonetic, meaning that rather than representing one letter, it represents a sound, such as 'KA' or 'MI' or 'HO' or 'YU'. So the sign in the picture is read as 'MA-KU-DO-NA-RU-DO HAN-BA-GA'. McDonalds hamburgers! It might seem like a strange system but it actually makes things quite a bit easier once you get the hang of it.

Good vibes and broken hearts

Dusk at the Meiji Jingu Shrine, in central Tokyo.



At every shrine, you'll find a place where you can purchase a small wooden tablet, and write your good vibes, hopes and prayers to hang up for blessings.



People write all kinds of things in every language imaginable, so I thought I'd share some of the more interestings ones with you.



Bob Marley lives in us all! One love. Bless.



Ahhh the innocence of youth.



This one just broke my little heart..... poor Joe! Erin, go back to him man!

KARAOKE

God how I love it!!!!!!!!!!!



Karaoke (which, by the way, should be pronounced cah-rah-oh-kay) is without a doubt one of my great joys in Japan. On Friday night, I went out with a very mixed group of karaoke enthusiasts -- three from France, two from Germany, three native Tokyo-ites, and little old me. The French people sang some French songs, Ze Germans sang a German version of '99 Red Balloons', I sang what little reggae they had (UB40 counts as reggae, right?), and the young Japanese man in the first picture entertained us by singing a number of theme songs from Japanese anime shows.



Karaoke here is very different: here you and your friends get a private room, rather than perform in front of a room of strangers. Each room comes with an eletronic device that allows you to select your songs, and you don't even have to go to a bar -- you simply pick up the phone on the wall, place your order in the kitchen, and a waiter magically appears with a tray of booze. It's so great!

Today I went with one of Ze Germans on a hike in the nearby mountains. West Tokyo is actually quite mountainous, and there are many lovely hiking trails. We went to the Ruins of Hachioiji Castle, but honestly it was SO ruined there was pretty much nothing left, other than a few stone walls and walkways. But it was still a nice trek in the bush.



Pretty Buddhist temple in the forest, built to honor those who were killed during the invasion and destruction of the Castle during the 1500s when the clans were fighting for power.



Big fat spider.



These lovely people struck up a conversation with us on the mountain top picnic spot, gave us some tea and chicken, and chatted with us. They were very nice, and were not the only people there using ski poles!

Japanders

Most famous, high-profile Hollywood actors and actresses would never, ever dream of stooping so low as to do an embarassing promotional ad for Cup-O-Noodles in America. Hell no! They're too good for that! People who make $50 million per movie have no reason to promote some crappy product, right?

But in Japan, where they are paid exorbitant amounts to put their names on every kind of ad, from Coca Cola to coffee, those American celebrities who whore themselves out for a Japanese audience are known as 'JAPANDERS'. It was even the subject of the movie 'Lost in Translation', where Bill Murray plays a washed-up Hollywood actor who goes to Tokyo to do a billboard ad for a Japanese whiskey. I've seen quite a bit of Japander-ads myself, which I will, of course, gladly share with you.



Want to be a nice, refined man like Richard Gere? Then get your ass to The Dandy House, Japan's best finishing school for men! (This is no joke.)




Whose the boss of really crappy, disgusting canned iced coffee? Apparently Tommy Lee Jones.

I've also seen quite a few on TV -- such as Meg Ryan sitting surrounded by cute Japanese chicks, in the sunshine, the music playing in the background.. then she takes a sip of a Coca Cola, swallows, and says, 'Mmm... perfect!'

The list of Japanders is very long, and in fact has its own website, with a massive list of awfully cheesy ads done by American celebrities for their adoring Japanese audience. Wanna see more? Check it out at http://www.japander.com/

Weird stuff

Enough with all the scenic temple pictures! Let me show you some weird Japanese stuff.



Anyone whose ever played Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo is familiar with the word 'tankuki', but few know what it is. It's actually a Japanese raccoon dog, and it's also regarded as a mythical creature. People often put statues of tanukis, much like the one in the picture above, outside of their businessplaces, especially cafes and restaurants to make their business prosperous. Mmmm. Nothing like a mythical raccoon dog with a small erection and an enlarged nutsack to stimulate the appetite.




Could you drink something with 'SWEAT' in it's name? COULD YOU?




We've all heard of car parks, but in Japan they have bike parks!

Tomorrow -- few in America are aware of it, but their beloved film stars actually come to Japan secretly to do advertisements for everything from coffee to KFC. I think you'll be surprised who you see.

A different way of life

'What do you mean people don't steal things in Tokyo?'

I was talking to my mother on the phone a few nights ago when I told her I had just bought a bike.

'But where do you park it?' she asked, concerned.

'Oh, I just leave it downstairs in the apartment complex with the other bikes.'

'What do you mean you just leave it downstairs? What if someone steals it?' she asked.

'People don't do that kind of thing here!'





The picture above perfectly demonstrates the amazingly high level of safety in Tokyo. This 'salaryman', as he is called in Japan, was fast asleep on the sidewalk, outside of Tokyo station, at 4.30 in the morning. Most likely he was out drinking with his co-workers, as is the norm here, and like me, had missed his train home. I had gone with my drinking buddies to an all-night all-you-can-drink karaoke place to kill a few hours. But this salaryman, exhausted and drunk, simply lay down outside the station gate, put a book over his face, and took a snooze until the trains opened at 5 am.

A drunk man sleeping on the sidewalk might not seem like an incredible thing to you. But just take a second to think about what this picture signifies. Imagine that in a big city like Tokyo, at 4.30 am, a salaryman, who probably has a lot of money in his wallet, can lay down, alone, drunk and defenseless, and not a soul will touch him. Nobody will take his wallet, nobody will steal his shoes, nobody will take the gold watch off of his wrist, nobody will gently lift his drunken, sweaty head and nab his briefcase.

It truly is a different way of life in Japan. I'm slowly starting to let my paranoia and distrust of the general public subside. But the concept of public trust is quite new to me. The concept that you simply don't have to worry. That you can accidentally leave your umbrella outside of a store for an entire day, and when you return that evening, you can bet your last dollar that it will be exactly where you left it. People often park thier bike outside of a store with bags and other belongings in the front basket, and nobody touches anything. Imagine that! In Trinidad if you only blink twice someone will steal the chain from off your neck.

But people simply don't do that kind of thing here.

Bizarre, isn't it?