What exactly does 'genki' mean? The literal translation in Japanese means 'happy' or well. In fact, in Japan people don't ask, 'How are you?' - rather they ask, 'Are you genki?'. It is therefore VERY important to always be as genki as possible! So join me on my adventures as I indulge my wanderlust, eat lots of raw fish, and explore the giant neon beehive that is Tokyo.
Smoking laws in Japan don't make much sense to me - for example, you can still smoke inside of a McDonalds, but when you are outside in public they are strict about 'smoking areas' which are often fenced off, so all these smokers are huddled together in a cage surrounding a lone silver ash box. Weird.
Anyway, this is a picture of a sign on a street ashtray outside of a Family Mart in Ginza a few days ago. Signs like the one above are supposed to make smokers aware of the people close to them. But as usual, the translation is quite interesting.
My smoke is enveloping that man over there. Stalker. But what on earth does 'stalker' mean? Is the smoker a stalker? Or is the smoke metaphorically a stalker? Or perhaps 'that man over there' is a stalker? Who knows. Just another fine example of 'Engrish' in Japan.
I've been here about five months now, which is not a long period of time, but I've realized that with enough time, you can get used to ANYTHING. It is normal to have some culture shock when you go to a new place, but eventually with the daily routine of life in this alien environment, the strange things start to become just... sort of... normal, I guess. And your new environment changes you - it changes your habits, your preferences, your mannerisms, the way you speak, the way you move. You have to adjust to so many new factors it is impossible not to be changed. You find yourself doing things you've never done before, like bowing, or apologizing all the time with a polite 'sumimasen'. I realized today in the grocery that this is all part of the process of becoming JAPANIFIED.
So for your reading pleasure, I thought I would compile a little list, called 'You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long When...'. I hope you enjoy!
You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long When...
1. The phone rings and you debate for 3 seconds whether to say 'hello' or 'moshi moshi' 2. You bow all the time to strangers 3. You bow when riding your bicycle if someone lets you go or steps out of your way 4. You choose shoes based on how quickly you can take them off 5. You stop drinking coffee, and instead become addicted to green tea 6. Green tea ice cream is now a normal dessert 7. A typical 'snack' for you is a ball of rice with a plum in it 8. You take a set of chopsticks to your office 9. You know how to say 'no thank you' when the cashier in the supermarket offers you disposable chopsticks for your sushi bento box 10. You no longer think $7 US is too expensive for a beer 11. You have a long conversation with your taxi driver when you are completely drunk 12. You say 'hai' all the time 13. You have little cute thingies hanging from your keitai (cell phone) 14. You avoid eye contact with other gaijin (foreigners) on the train 15. You can understand the arrival announcements on the train 16. You give up your train seat for little old ladies 17. You crawl back into your house to get something you forgot, rather than take your shoes back off or walk on the floor with shoes on 18. You always have a pack of tissues in your bag 19. You think it is perfectly normal to run like your life depends on it through Shinjuku station to get the train 20. You start pouring your friends' beers 21. You say 'itadakimasu' before you start eating, even if you are alone 22. You politely look away from the drunk salaryman who has passed out in his own vomit in the train 23. You enthusiastically say 'Ehhhhhh!' when listening to an interesting story, and enthusiastically ask 'Ehhhh?' when you don't understand something 24. You leave your umbrella outside of a store with complete faith that it will still be there when you return 25. You start doing the 'peace sign' in pictures 26. You always have large amounts of cash in your wallet and never use a bank machine, ever 27. You think a 'loaf' of bread has only 6 slices 28. You always talk about the weather immediately after greeting someone 29. You take your shoes off before going into the dressing room in a store 30. You no longer think it is strange to see a man wearing a Mickey Mouse watch
My last class on a Friday is a group of really bright 16-year-old high school students, who have a very high level of English. They are really into learning the language so teaching them is a breeze, because they will do anything I put on the table for them. Because they only come once a week, I try to encourage as much conversation as possible, to give them the opportunity to practice speaking.
Tonight we played a speaking game called '2 Truths & 1 Lie' where you tell the class three things about yourself, two of them are true, one is a lie, and everyone else has to guess which one is the lie. It works quite well because young people generally love talking about themselves!
Anyway, tonight one of my students was ten minutes late, and she came to class red-faced from running from the station. She sat down, and I quickly explained the activity, and we continued. When it was her turn to say 3 things, this is what she had to say:
'I am late tonight because I lost my wallet and had no money for a train ticket and had to go to my father's office.
'I am late tonight because I lost my house keys and it took me ten minutes to find them.
'I am late tonight because I was in the train, and when the train was coming to Kokubunji station, a man jumped in front of the train, and the train rode over him and he died, and we had to stop, and they could not open the doors, and everyone inside had to wait for ten minutes.'
I looked at her in shock and sort of laughed, thinking that maybe she was joking, or that she had a really wild and twisted imagination. I then looked around the room at the expression on the other students' faces, hoping to God that she was joking.
'Well,' I said to her with a nervous laugh, 'I hope that the lie is the 3rd one!'
'No,' she said, very matter of factly, shaking her pretty head... 'the lie is the story about the keys.'
'Oh my god...' I said, shocked, not quite sure what to say to her. 'The man really did jump into the train?'
'Yes! He did.'
'My god!' I said again, thinking that maybe she was a little upset or disturbed or traumatized by what she had just seen. 'Are you okay?'
'Oh no no, I am okay!' she says with a smile. 'I just don't like being late for class!'
There are some days when I really, REALLY wonder why on earth I bother trying to teach these kids of mine. Don't get me wrong - some of them are amazing, intelligent students who are really interested in the intricacies of the English language, who take notes, who ask questions, who genuinely WANT to understand how to use this language.
However, I would say 85% of my students couldn't give a rat's ass about putting even the TINIEST bit of effort into English class. I have only been in Japan for less than 5 months now, and I made the effort to learn how to read hiragana and katakana alphabets, and while I'm not perfect at the reading, I think I do okay.
So tell me, why on earth should I even BOTHER making the effort to prepare lesson plans, games and activities for a class where these kids have been coming to class every week for YEARS, and they STILL CAN'T READ THE F****ING WORD 'SIX'? What sense does it make? What is the point? Years and years of coming to a class, and they can't and won't read the word 'can', or 'five'? Have they learnt nothing? What is going on here? Obviously nothing that I do will encourage or inspire them to try to learn to read or write. And quite frankly, if they don't care, why on earth should I care? Is teaching here just a total waste of my time???????????
I almost forgot! These are some pictures from the Phuket Hash House Harriers. Bob and I joined up with them the very first day that I was there for a Christmas Hash. It started off quite the same as a Trinidad Hash - in fact it looked almost identical!
The Hash was not too difficult, and it took us through some Phuket rubber tree plantations.
After the run everyone drank, of course, and stood around talking shit, until the Hash Master pulled everyone together to do the rituals, the down-downs, and so forth.
Heath takes his favorite seat on the ice block!
The Phuket Hash was kind of strange though, because the 'farang' (foreigners) in Thailand live kind of a strange life. First of all, in Trinidad the Hash is a very mixed sort of group, maybe half-half locals to expats, maybe about half are women, and the people are of all ages, races, backgrounds, colors and nationalities. The Trinidad Hash is a really good reflection of the true rainbow society in Trinidad.
But in Thailand, there are only two groups on the Hash - old white farang dudes, and their young hot Thai wives. Most of the wives don't speak English and they certainly don't go running around in the middle of the day through rubber plantations! Very few women are there to run. In fact, the wives sort of go off into their own group and sit in the shade under a tree (to avoid getting dark, because in Thailand if you have dark skin it means you are poor and work outdoors), or cook all the food. So it was kind of an odd Hash, very polarized, and to tell you the truth, it didn't have a good feel of community and togetherness like it does in Trinidad.
There are quite a few Hashes in Tokyo but I am sorry, it is January and I am not about to go running in this dead cold weather. Hashes are meant to be outdoors, thus, we need the sun! Maybe in the spring I will hook up with the Samurai Hash here.
Well folks, here I am, back in Tokyo after 15 days in The Land of 1000 Smiles. I am tanned, relaxed, and extremely rejuvenated. I've seen and done so many wonderful and weird things in the past two weeks and taken so many pictures that I don't even know where to start or how to choose which ones to put up!
I suppose I could bore you with descriptions about how beautiful, magical, peaceful, exciting, ridiculous, decadent, funny, debaucherous and romantic Thailand truly is... the simple joy of sipping a cold Singha under a coconut tree as the sun sets over a turqouise sea... the sweat that forms on your brow as you try to eat some spicy tom yam soup... the wind blowing through your hair as you go down the road on a motorbike... the girls on the sidewalk who sing out 'helllllo-massaaaage!' in greeting. But really, I would rather let all the pictures speak for themselves. So here are some general shots of day to day life on Samui.
Roll camera!
Singha beer -- the best way to start your day!
Lunch time at a beach bar.
This tourist is all blissed out!
I must say, I really think my old man made a very, very good choice in moving to Koh Samui. It is small, sweet, peaceful, and life is very easy there. Everything is cheap, everything is pretty, everything is delicious, and there is something to do every night. It's the kind of place that is so sickening idyllic you could vomit!
The main road at Lamai Beach, around the corner from Bob's place.
An authentic Thai massage on the beach.
Sunset on the south coast.
At the end of Lamai Beach are the rock formations Hin Ta and Hin Ya - Grandfather and Grandmother Rock. These famous stone structures have a local folklore attached to it. According to the story, a grandmother and grandfather wanted to help thier grandson find a wife for their son, so they set off from Samui for the mainland of Thailand to do so. But their boat capsized and they were never seen again. According to the legend, their souls were turned into stone - one phallic, and one vaginal.
Grandfather Rock (the totee in the middle)
Oh yah, and if you look closely at the picture above, there are two people making passionate undersea love. I'm quite jealous.
Me, up close and personal with grandpapa.
And close by, directly facing Grandfather Rock, is Grandmother Rock.
Lamai is a pretty active area, but to venture to other areas we rented a motorbike for a day and went about. I even drove the bike once - it was fun! You can also explore the many Buddhist temples, which are bright, colorful and elaborate. The temples in Thailand are very, very different compared to the somber, dignified ones in Tokyo.
Buddhist monks worry about your soul... and about sunburn!
People stick gold foil onto the various statues of Buddha.
We also went into the local markets (which were quite stinky if you ask me, compared to Japan where things are ultra-clean) and saw some interesting food items. Yum yum! Stir-fried crickets with green onion!
Mmmmm. A big pot of prawns. All for me, none for you!
I also had the unique pleasure of meeting a handsome and charming young pilot from Tokyo who flew all the way to Samui just for four days. This International Man of Mystery accompanied me on a boat trip to the Anthong National Marine Park, a set of islands off the coast of Samui that are protected. We spent the day kayaking, snorkelling, climbing, and getting sunburnt.
The Anthong Emerald Lake
Walking through the rocks.
Goofing around back at Lamai Beach.
Ole years night on Samui was real sweet and relaxing and lovely. We spent the day on the beach, eating and drinking and swimming. That night we all went out roaming around Lamai - we had no plan, no direction, no real idea of what we were going to do. And we ended up finding loads of things to do!
First we went to dinner at a wonderfully cheap restaurant and gorged on duck with cashew, masaman curry, morning glory, spicy Thai salad, and of course, multiple bottles of ice cold Singha. All for about $15 US total! Incredible.
After dinner, we walked to the Samui Shamrock to see a rock band called Ovada.
These head bangers are Bob's neighbors! The first night that I arrived they were all liming next door on their porch and they invited us over for bar-b-que and whiskey. They were very sweet and friendly and laid back, playing with their little 4 year old girl. Little did I know that the next night I would see them in action - and in their wild costumes - on stage tearing into those electric guitars! It was quite a shock compared to the night before.
After that we took a walk to the 'girly-bar' area, where girls dance on the bars and chat with the customers and so on. I know it sounds kind of gross but somehow it isn't vulgar at all (if you can believe that). We found that there was Muay Thai boxing that night so there was a huge crowd excited for the match. Muay Thai boxing uses both arms and legs - half of the fight is kicking and kneeing your opponent. Fight! Fight! Fight!
Then it was the countdown, which was kind of subdued, and after the boxing we walked to the beach to take in the fireworks. And Thais sure love their fireworks! Also, on special occasions, the Thais light up these big lanterns that float up into the sky. It is really beautiful to see hundreds and hundreds of these things in the sky, along with the stars and the fireworks.
Around 3 am we found ourselves at another girly-bar, but we met a lady-boy. Now some of the lady-boys are REALLY sexy and hot and look better than the average woman! But unfortunately some of the lady boys are... well... not.
Thai people are also amazingly kind and gentle to animals. They treat all animals with respect, even stray cats and dogs. The animals are not afraid of people at all, because I suppose they are not used to cruelty. It is quite normal to see dogs and cats walking around or sleeping in the restaurants and bars, and nobody beats them or anything! People are always petting them and feeding them. Maybe it is some kind of Buddhist thing. Or maybe just a Samui thing. Someone was even kind enough to give this doggie an orchid necklace on ole years night.
My last few days on Samui consisted of a lot of fun and games. Bob and I played a lot of pool, went to the shooting range where I discovered I have good aim with a .35,
and played a few games at a bowling alley (where Bob kicked my ass).
It was about that time when I decided that I really did NOT need to go to Bangkok for ANY reason at all because I could not bear the thought of leaving paradise. So I cancelled my trip and stayed to relax and spend more time with dad.
More sickening scenery
At a small fishing village, these kids were more than happy to put on a playful fight game for us, with their Ultraman masks.
And now, after a loooooong trip back, I am home again in Tokyo, and missing Thailand! I could live on Samui EASY. You know, I didn't quite know what to expect before I went to Thailand. When I asked my dad what life is like there, he gave me a strange answer that pretty much sums it up quite well. Watch the video to see for yourself.
